Reality Bites

So there you are....looking at your child with special needs, thinking how wonderfully they are doing.  How many things they have accomplished in the past few months...how far they have come.  Just for a minute you are in your perfect world and so happy about how quickly your child is "catching up".  WOW what a feeling....and then.....BAM....reality check.  You are at a birthday party for a family member or a friend of a "typical" child the same age and you are hit with the harsh reality that your child is still VERY far behind her peers.  You forget...just as your child is growing and learning so are they.  Their development doesn't stop waiting for your child to catch up.  In actuality....the gap grows wider and wider and you know what....IT HURTS....IT HURTS ALOT!!!!

Don't get me wrong...I am so happy with the progress of my daughter.  Her teachers are AMAZING and genuinely love her like she is their own child.  She is starting to read and her handwriting is getting much better.  She can zip her jacket and can snap buttons.  She is becoming more and more independent in every way but....she is still sooooo far behind her peers.  Her peers are reading chapter books.  My daughter can barely read one of those Pre-reading books you can get at Target.  Her peers are going across the monkey bars like it is nothing. My daughter can barely make it to the second rung.  Her peers are learning multiplication.  My daughter can't add 1+1 without using manipulatives and having help.

In my world we have friends and family who have younger children and they are even further ahead of my daughter...I think that hurts even more.  To see a child who is 3-4 years younger then my daughter doing so much more then she can do is so heartbreaking for special needs parents.  Friends and family don't really get it.  No one but other special needs parents understand this empty feeling.

Then starts the constant questions:

Will my child ever be...well...."typical"?
Will they ever catch up?
Will they be able to take care of themselves later in life?
Will they get married and have a family?
Will they get a job?
Will they be...I hate to even type the word... Normal?

This is our reality...the what if's in life.  Sometimes you are able to focus on the great things going on with your child with special needs and stay in that place of happiness. Deep down you know that your child with special needs is not caught up to their peers but...for that brief moment in time... you forget...until reality comes and bites you in the...well...you know where.

REALITY REALLY DOES BITE THE BIG ONE SOMETIMES!!!

Until Next Time...

Jenn