THE FIRST OF MANY

I have been wanting to write a blog for some time now. Part of me wants to do it for others....for them to see that they are not alone and what they are going through and feeling is "normal"....NORMAL....what is normal?  Normal is such a relative term isn't it?  What is normal to one person is not normal to another.  Well...now I am getting way off track....

First, a bit about myself...I am a 42 yr old mom of an amazing 10 yr old little girl and have the most amazing husband a woman could ask for.  I don't know how I would make it through this crazy journey of special needs without him.

My daughter has been diagnosed  "Intellectually Deficit" (which, for those of you who do not know...is the more politically correct version of "mental retardation")  for lack of anything else to call her. She also has Expressive/Receptive language disorder and, I feel, a sensory processing disorder and dyslexia (though the last 2 are not confirmed by any doctors).  I will stop at nothing for my daughter.  If a program does not exist, I create it, if it does exist I find a way to get her into it...it is that easy.  She has turned into quite the little diva and is loved by all of her teachers and friends.  She is in an Alternate Learning Program (Life Skills) in school and is doing very well.  From the outside it seems like we really have it all under control....after all...she is a happy and sweet little girl.  But on the inside I worry everyday about who she will become and how much she will be able to do on her own.

Like most parents, I dream of the "typical" life most kids are offered.  But, in my world...the world of a special needs parent...that life is so different then most. My daughter cannot read, she cannot do math....she can't even tie her own shoes.  How is she ever going to be able to go out into the world and live a "normal" life?  This is a question that ONLY special needs parents obsess over.  We are a group all to our own and most "gen-ed parents" (as I like to call them) will never understand, no matter how many times I try to explain it to them.  I have lost some friends along the way.  Not because we have fought but because as  a special needs parent, you tend to gear toward other special needs parents.  Ones, who, if my child is having a meltdown, will not look at me like I am being a bad parent.  Ones who can genuinely understand the most amazing feeling I get when my 10 yr old did what seems to be the simplest of tasks but was a major hurdle for her.  I think I need the validation that I am not crazy and my "normal" is different then everyone else's "normal" and that is OK.  It is sad to lose some of my old friends...its almost like a time of my life that I don't even remember anymore.  A time before the diagnosis and all of the drama that goes along with it.  On the flip side, I have made some new AMAZING friends that I never would have met if it wasn't for this special journey and I am very grateful for that.

In the beginning of this post, I said that part of me wanted to write this for others....I guess, deep down...I wanted to do it for me.  Sometimes when you get words out on paper (or in this case, a computer) you see things differently...situations make more sense to you.  And maybe...just maybe..I can help some of you through your journey.  I hope to continue this blog regularly and can only hope that my life experiences through the journey of the world of special needs parenting will ease your mind and help you to realize that you really are a Special Parent!!

Until Next Time...

Jenn