Is Parenthood Everything You Expected it to Be?

Is Parenthood everything you expected it to be?  This question was posed to me by my husband last weekend.  My response...."No it's not."  He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "really?".

I never thought I would have a child with special needs.  I never thought that at 10 yrs old my child would be running to therapy appointments and socialization groups.  By 10 years old, I thought my child would be able to have sleep overs with friends.  So...no...parenthood is NOTHING like I expected it to be. 

Where in the "What to expect when you're expecting" books does it tell you that you may have a child with special needs.  Where does it tell you that you will have a revolving door for the first 3-5 years of their life of therapists/teachers  (Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, ABA teachers,  special play groups etc.) It doesn't....ANYWHERE.  No one prepares you for what we go through day to day.  

Where does it tell you that when you hear about a friend who is having their child evaluated that you will secretly hope that the child gets diagnosed just so you have another person who understands what you are going through? And when they are denied services you are almost sad.  It sounds horrible right?  But it is the gods honest truth.  This is what we, as parents who have special needs children think.  Not that we wish bad things on other families but when you find another family that you connect with who is going through exactly what you are going through, it makes life a little bit easier.

Years ago when I thought about what our lives would be like with a child was such a different view.  I dreamed of our perfect family.  Our daughter who had lots of friends.  Our home where everyone of the neighborhood kids would gather and hang out.  Our home where we would host New Year's Eve parties for her friends and they would all sleep over and act silly.  But instead it is the polar opposite.  I don't let her play with the neighborhood kids because most of them are mean to her (thankfully she doesn't realize).  We can't have kids sleep over because the slightest change in routine messes her up...add kids sleeping over on top of that and it is a recipe for disaster.  

I envy the parents who get to sleep in on the weekends because their child can take care of/entertain themselves.  I envy the parents who aren't still watching Barney or PBS kids with their 10 year old. I envy the parents who can leave their child with any babysitter and have a date night.

I am not saying that my life is bad...it is not by any means. I love my daughter to death but thinking back 11 years ago...I never expected Parenthood to be this way.

Until Next Time.

Jenn